I continue to reflect on this and I guess my question is - if we understand the importance of community connections why is it so hard for people to foster healthy relationships?
Not sure if there is an answer but has anyone else thought about this?
I’ve thought about it a lot. I wonder how the rise in single-person households comes into play. From Stats Canada: “In 2016, one-person households became the predominant household type (28%) for the first time in Canada’s 150-year history.” We went from 1.7 million single-person households in 1981 to 4.4 million in 2021. That's a lot of people who live alone.
Consider all the love, support, communication, connection, shared history, shared jokes, trust and intimacy that exists within a (healthy) household. Consider all the mundane daily exchanges that foster a sense of connection. Consider all the opportunities to share about something positive that happened, or to share about something coming up you’re excited or worried about, or to simply share an amusing observation. All of that contributes to a healthy state of mind. And it’s missing—or much more limited—for people who live alone. How does this impact someone’s wellbeing over time? Of course, some people choose to live alone and quite enjoy it, but in some cases it's less by choice and more due to circumstances.
Against that backdrop, how do we build the community connections needed for health and wellbeing? Given the growing number of people who live alone, do we need to start viewing community connections not just as a complement to household connections, but as a replacement for them? But then, community connections can’t take the place of those closer, behind-closed-doors type of connections where you can drop your guard, not have to worry about being judged, and engage on an entirely different level. Or can they? Is that the challenge—finding ways to build closer, deeper community connections that allow people to drop their guard and open up? And how do we do this when, as you say, it’s so hard for people to foster healthy relationships? I have more questions than answers!
Sep 21, 2023·edited Sep 21, 2023Liked by Susan Knight
Thank you Susan Knight for such an uplifting reminder that none of us do it alone. It can be easy sometimes to judge others who seem to be having great difficulty overcoming what we perceive as a minor issue. However, none of us can ever know what support mechanisms they have in place to help them find resilience. For those with deep interpersonal support networks, there can be myriad connections that can be leaned on for advice or comfort. For those without such networks, it can be a much greater struggle to bounce back from even what appear to be minor setbacks. We all do well to remember this. Thank you!
I appreciate your feedback Vernon, and love how you summed things up. For those with a strong, healthy support network, it’s easy to underestimate or take for granted the important role that network plays, and it’s easy to assume everyone else has such a network in place. It’s also easy to overlook the effects of a strong support network (or lack thereof) over time, in terms of how it impacts an individual’s confidence, sense of self-efficacy, and beliefs around how the world works; all of which then impacts the individual’s decisions, behaviours, and reactions to challenges.
North American society and culture is very much individual centric. You are encouraged to "make it on your own" to "be your own man\woman" to "fight for your independence." These are all seen as worthy achievements and markers of a person's success in life and career.
What's lost is the critical importance of the connections and supports of the people around the individual. According to the Canadian Index of Wellbeing, one of he dimensions of a healthy individual is that they report a strong sense of belonging to community. This belonging is linked to high levels of social participation, social engagement and overall better health.
Belonging is important and you hit the proverbial nail on the head with this article. Thank you!!!
Really appreciate your feedback and what you shared, Brian. Given the known link to health and wellbeing, the widespread lack of connections and supports is concerning:
– 13% of Canadians report always or often feeling lonely.
– 21% of Americans report always or often feeling lonely.
– 33% of Britons report often feeling alone with no-one to talk to.
We can be sure many of these people aren’t experiencing optimal mental health to begin with. What happens when they get hit with a crisis, loss, or some major challenges?
From CAMH: “By the time Canadians reach 40 years of age, 1 in 2 have – or have had – a mental illness.” I'm sure a contributing factor to this is the lack of belonging, connection and supports that help keep people mentally and emotionally healthy, stable and resilient.
I continue to reflect on this and I guess my question is - if we understand the importance of community connections why is it so hard for people to foster healthy relationships?
Not sure if there is an answer but has anyone else thought about this?
I’ve thought about it a lot. I wonder how the rise in single-person households comes into play. From Stats Canada: “In 2016, one-person households became the predominant household type (28%) for the first time in Canada’s 150-year history.” We went from 1.7 million single-person households in 1981 to 4.4 million in 2021. That's a lot of people who live alone.
Consider all the love, support, communication, connection, shared history, shared jokes, trust and intimacy that exists within a (healthy) household. Consider all the mundane daily exchanges that foster a sense of connection. Consider all the opportunities to share about something positive that happened, or to share about something coming up you’re excited or worried about, or to simply share an amusing observation. All of that contributes to a healthy state of mind. And it’s missing—or much more limited—for people who live alone. How does this impact someone’s wellbeing over time? Of course, some people choose to live alone and quite enjoy it, but in some cases it's less by choice and more due to circumstances.
Against that backdrop, how do we build the community connections needed for health and wellbeing? Given the growing number of people who live alone, do we need to start viewing community connections not just as a complement to household connections, but as a replacement for them? But then, community connections can’t take the place of those closer, behind-closed-doors type of connections where you can drop your guard, not have to worry about being judged, and engage on an entirely different level. Or can they? Is that the challenge—finding ways to build closer, deeper community connections that allow people to drop their guard and open up? And how do we do this when, as you say, it’s so hard for people to foster healthy relationships? I have more questions than answers!
Thank you Susan Knight for such an uplifting reminder that none of us do it alone. It can be easy sometimes to judge others who seem to be having great difficulty overcoming what we perceive as a minor issue. However, none of us can ever know what support mechanisms they have in place to help them find resilience. For those with deep interpersonal support networks, there can be myriad connections that can be leaned on for advice or comfort. For those without such networks, it can be a much greater struggle to bounce back from even what appear to be minor setbacks. We all do well to remember this. Thank you!
I appreciate your feedback Vernon, and love how you summed things up. For those with a strong, healthy support network, it’s easy to underestimate or take for granted the important role that network plays, and it’s easy to assume everyone else has such a network in place. It’s also easy to overlook the effects of a strong support network (or lack thereof) over time, in terms of how it impacts an individual’s confidence, sense of self-efficacy, and beliefs around how the world works; all of which then impacts the individual’s decisions, behaviours, and reactions to challenges.
North American society and culture is very much individual centric. You are encouraged to "make it on your own" to "be your own man\woman" to "fight for your independence." These are all seen as worthy achievements and markers of a person's success in life and career.
What's lost is the critical importance of the connections and supports of the people around the individual. According to the Canadian Index of Wellbeing, one of he dimensions of a healthy individual is that they report a strong sense of belonging to community. This belonging is linked to high levels of social participation, social engagement and overall better health.
Belonging is important and you hit the proverbial nail on the head with this article. Thank you!!!
Really appreciate your feedback and what you shared, Brian. Given the known link to health and wellbeing, the widespread lack of connections and supports is concerning:
– 13% of Canadians report always or often feeling lonely.
– 21% of Americans report always or often feeling lonely.
– 33% of Britons report often feeling alone with no-one to talk to.
We can be sure many of these people aren’t experiencing optimal mental health to begin with. What happens when they get hit with a crisis, loss, or some major challenges?
From CAMH: “By the time Canadians reach 40 years of age, 1 in 2 have – or have had – a mental illness.” I'm sure a contributing factor to this is the lack of belonging, connection and supports that help keep people mentally and emotionally healthy, stable and resilient.