4 Comments
Nov 8, 2023Liked by Neil Gonsalves, Anna Garleff

Wow! Thank you Anna. "fully immerse ourselves in the client’s perspective while remaining firmly anchored in our own." No easy task. As much as we are all similar, there are a multitude of differences in how we come at relationships, solve problems, and view life. There is no cookie-cutter solution that works for everyone. Sounds like the best coaches help others find their own path and guide them towards a solution that while honest, and perhaps insightful, still aligns with their complex value system, who they are, and ultimately where they are currently at in their personal growth journey.

Expand full comment
author

Vernon, thank you! And yet offer real value - not merely act as a sounding boardd - complex indeed.

Expand full comment
Nov 8, 2023Liked by Neil Gonsalves, Anna Garleff

There’s a misconception that anyone who a) has experienced their own success, or b) wants to help others, can coach. I love how this piece explains the intricacies of coaching, showing how it relies on specific skills. And I love how the closing line sums up the coaching process perfectly.

“And this is why simple answers and misguided advice can actually exacerbate a problem instead of offering that quick fix.” Spot on, and I think this points to a broader issue. There's often a desire for a quick and easy fix for any issue (and thus pressure to provide this — or to at least claim to provide this.) Sure, there are occasions where a light bulb goes off and we’re immediately on our way; or we receive the right information at the right time and it solves our problem instantly. But some issues require effort and time to overcome. You don’t learn to drive a car overnight, you move through steps, with each step building on the previous one. It’s the same with other intellectual or emotional endeavours. We may need to move through a series of incremental steps to arrive at an answer; and moving through those steps may be precisely what equips us to see/process the answer. This is why I love the closing line of this piece so much, with its reference to timing: “…accompany your client as they make their own choices and decisions at the time that is right for them.”

Expand full comment
author
Nov 9, 2023·edited Nov 9, 2023Author

Thanks for highlighting the fast-food approach to problem-solving, Susan. And let's be clear: some problems, with the insight of an experienced coach, are quick fixes. Two heads are just better than one. But some behaviors, or limiting beliefs are so entrenched - or the emotional cost of relinquishing that (mal)adaptive behavior are so high, that it can takes a little longer. If the client is determined, tenacious, and open to change, we always get there in the end.

Expand full comment