Manifestations of Misandry
By Susan Knight | Why are negative attitudes towards men and boys deemed acceptable?
Written by Susan Knight | Seeking Veritas Columnist | Sankarsingh-Gonsalves Productions
“Many otherwise enlightened people seem to think that putting a man down by shaming him for the transgressions of a few criminal men or for his inadequate physicality is a sort of privilege or entitlement. They are not even aware of their misandry.”
– Joe Kort, Ph.D., Misandry: The Invisible Hatred of Men
In the early 2000s, an interesting t-shirt appeared on the scene. It quickly garnered media attention due to the caption and image displayed on the front. The caption read, “Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them” and was accompanied by a cartoon image of a boy running away as rocks are aimed in his direction. I missed all the media coverage at the time and only became aware of the shirt several years later, when I saw a young girl wearing it at a social gathering. I was definitely surprised and taken aback upon seeing it. I remember immediately thinking it was almost a certainty you would never see the same shirt with the genders reversed. It’s not just that no-one would want to be publicly associated with the statement girls are stupid, throw rocks at them. Aside from the bad optics publicly, most people would genuinely find the message unpalatable on a personal level as well.
Good-natured fun, or something more concerning?
Reactions to the shirt were mixed. Some felt it was nothing more than good-natured fun that should not be taken too seriously. Some felt it ought to be viewed as satire. Others expressed concern, claiming that in spite of the lighthearted tone and design, the message itself was troubling. They pointed out the double-standard which had immediately come to my mind, and how there would be an uproar if the genders were reversed. They challenged the shirt’s casual denigration of boys, and questioned how and why the apparent promotion of violence towards boys was deemed acceptable in this particular instance. As the negative responses gained traction, some stores decided to pull the shirt from their shelves.
Whether you view the t-shirt as problematic or not, it’s undeniably emblematic of a broader trend across society. Alongside the quest to expose and address all the longstanding gender-based inequities and harms women have experienced, the practice of labeling men with unflattering and unwarranted accusations and judgements has become more prevalent. Across both formal and informal media spaces, we routinely see statements being made about men on a whole when the behaviours in question, whether overtly criminal or merely unseemly, are attributable to a minority of men — in some cases, an extremely small minority.
Misogyny vs. Misandry.
The issue of misogyny comes up far more frequently than it did decades ago, and the threshold for a charge of misogyny has dropped significantly. (We witnessed this lowered threshold in full force during the 2024 U.S. election, when millions of men were labeled misogynists simply for exercising their right to vote for the candidate/party of their choice.) As allegations of and attempts to address misogyny increasingly take centre stage, where is the acknowledgement and attention toward its counterpart misandry? Where is the concern around discriminatory, disparaging, or otherwise harmful attitudes and behaviours towards men?
As we seek to address gender-based ills at both a societal and personal level, we need to recognize that passion and a desire for justice don't always equate to positive outcomes. We need to distinguish between good intentions and effective approaches. We need to ensure well-intentioned efforts to lead society in a better direction don’t inadvertently lead us astray. And in seeking to improve upon the past, it’s imperative that we guard against having the pendulum swing too far over in the opposite direction, such that we resort to casting men on a whole in a negative light. As Joe Kort, Ph.D. points out in his article Misandry: The Invisible Hatred of Men, “It also pathologizes men when we assume the worst transgressions of a few are characteristics of all. It doesn’t help women… to engage in the sport of putting down men.”
The sport of putting men down.
The circulation of a t-shirt stating boys are stupid is just one example of how the sport of putting men (and boys) down has gained a foothold in society. As males of all ages deal with the increase in such negative messaging, they also find themselves facing self-esteem and identity issues as they struggle to make their way amidst shifting societal norms and confusing standards. Meanwhile, as the challenges mount, appropriate resources and adequate support are lacking.
Writer and poet Brian Sankarsingh discusses some of these challenges in his article November - Men's Mental Health Awareness Month. In his article, he identifies the emotional struggles and conflicting expectations men face, and he explores how these challenges shape the way men experience mental health. For better or for worse, societal attitudes have a very real impact on men’s health and well-being. As Sankarsingh breaks down the key mental health challenges men face, he outlines how feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy can emerge. He also notes the higher rate of suicide among men compared to women.
Language choice and the messages being conveyed.
Given the current climate, is the caption on a t-shirt truly nothing more than harmless fun, or should we be taking it more seriously? Apparel aside, we definitely need to be mindful of the language we use in general and the messages being conveyed. Dr. Kort cautions that words “perpetuate norms that give rise to bigotry, misogyny, misandry, racism, homophobia, and more. Given how ‘manliness’ is enforced by both men and women, is it any wonder that men have become fair targets for a running commentary of contempt?”
Surely any decent, fair-minded person would agree neither gender deserves to be targeted for a running commentary of contempt.
About the author: Susan Knight | SGP Featured Writer | Contact the author: @ http://skfreelance.com
Susan is certified health and wellness coach with a focus on personal growth and inner wellness. She was a regular contributor to Social Work Today Magazine and is a featured Health & Wellness Columnist for SGP.
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