November - Men's Mental Health Awareness Month
Brian Sankarsingh writes about men's mental health
“Not all masculinity is toxic—a gentleman abhors the brute and the bully no less than anyone else” - Neil Gonsalves from A Broken Soul
“In my version of masculinity, there is room for learning, partnering, building and growing; is this not a fertile place to plant the seed of hope for a new generation?” - Brian Sankarsingh from A Broken Soul
November is recognized as Men's Mental Health month. In 2023 Neil Gonsalves and Brian Sankarsingh co-authored a book titled A Broken Soul, a book which explored the intersectionality and complexity of being a brown man in Canada. One of the poems in that book is titled The Rats Race and is the subject of this article - the poem appears in its entirety at the end of this post.
The Rats Race opens a window into the often-overlooked emotional struggles of men. Through verses that reflect the quiet burdens of being a father, protector, and provider, Sankarsingh captures the conflicting expectations that men face today. These challenges aren’t only personal—they’re societal, and they shape how men experience mental health.
Below, we’ll unpack some of the themes from A Broken Soul and the poem The Rats Race and look at how they mirror the broader mental health struggles men encounter.
Key Mental Health Challenges for Men
Pressure to Perform Multiple Roles
Men often feel they need to be everything at once: strong, resilient, self-sufficient, and supportive. However, balancing these roles can lead to emotional exhaustion and a feeling of numbness, as the poem describes. This can create an “identity crisis,” of sorts that may make men feel as if they’re constantly failing to meet impossible expectations.
The Struggle for Authenticity
In The Rats Race, the poet questions, “Where is the real ‘me’ in this reality?” Unfortunately, many men feel disconnected from their true selves as a result of having to play multiple roles. Often, they may feel pressured to act in ways that don’t align with who they are. This lack of authenticity can lead to depression and feelings of worthlessness.
Conflicting Expectations Around Masculinity
Today, masculinity is often criticized as outdated, yet men are still expected to fulfill traditional roles of protectors and providers. This creates a double bind: men are encouraged to be sensitive and open but criticized when they fall short of what can only be called classic masculine ideals. These mixed messages make it hard for men to define their own path and contribute to feelings of inadequacy.
Emotional Suppression and Isolation
Men are often discouraged from expressing vulnerability or ridiculed when they do; this can lead to emotional suppression. Without an outlet, these emotions can manifest as anger, withdrawal, or even physical health problems. Men may feel that reaching out for help would betray their role as strong and self-reliant.
Even one of these issues alone could negatively affect a person’s mental health but it is their combined impact that can be life altering. They may lead to higher rates of substance use and addiction where men may turn to alcohol or drugs to cope, especially when they feel unable to discuss their struggles. This might eventually lead to an increased risk of suicide. We know that the societal stigma around male vulnerability contributes to a higher rate of suicide among men compared to women. Then there is the number one thing that affects all men - chronic stress. Constantly trying to meet unachievable standards can lead to chronic stress, impacting both physical and mental health.
Sankarsingh’s poem captures the essence of a struggle that’s often invisible. Men are carrying heavy loads, often without any recognition or support. Let’s work to reshape how we talk about and support men’s mental health. Empowering men to redefine their roles, express themselves freely, and seek help when needed isn’t just necessary—it’s long overdue.
The Rats Race - from the book A Broken Soul by Neil Gonsalves and Brian Sankarsingh Caught on a treadmill of expectations Unable to keep up with the rest My numbness defies explanation Even as people tell me I am blessed I am father, lover, teacher, and provider I don’t have the luxury of making mistakes I’m told to abhor violence, whilst being protector This I must do for humanity’s sake My masculinity is derided as a relic of old times I am told to rethink my words and my actions But the message is befuddled because oftentimes The situation is changed and so too the conditions But where is the real “me” in this reality What say do I have in my life anymore My job is to fulfil everyone’s fantasy I have become a magical whore And what of those who come after me What of the “men” of the next generation Will they make sense of this masculine potpourri Or will they too suffer emotional castration Men will need your help if we are to survive Redefining ourselves will be no easy task Give us your help, don’t just break out the knives Help us remove the patriarchal mask
Bio: BRIAN SANKARSINGH is a Trinidadian-born Canadian immigrant who has published several books of poetry on a wide range of social and historical themes including racism, colonialism, and enslavement. Sankarsingh artfully blends prose and poetry into his storytelling creating an eclectic mix with both genres. This unique approach is sure to provide something for everyone.
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