Wow, what an awesome, hilarious read! The visuals from that family get-together, my goodness!
My marriage to a Hungarian-Jamaican was intercultural. We divorced, so clearly there were issues, but not really related to cultural differences. That we both had mixed backgrounds and lived life straddling multiple worlds culturally actually served as a point of connection for us; plus we had the Jamaican side in common. My partner after that was Indian Parsi, and we were actually surprised at the similarities and overlap between our respective East Indian and West Indian backgrounds.
There seem to be two key factors that have a huge impact on intercultural relationships: 1) how similar/dissimilar the two cultures coming together are, and 2) how strong and distinct the cultural identities are for the two parties coming together. In both my situations, even though we weren’t from identical backgrounds, we had far more in common culturally than we had differences, so that made things easier. (We had other issues to contend with around personality, temperament, values, life goals, and expectations in general.)
Beyond the intercultural issue, this is such a valuable post offering so much on so many levels. It hits the nail on the head regarding how/why any marriage is so hard. I really appreciate the honesty that loving someone means working through problems and differences (and sometimes wanting to tear their head off.) And I love the concept of being flexible in one's approach, in that there’s a time and place for compromise, for finding middle ground, for giving in, for giving space, and for giving acceptance and freedom to let someone simply be the individual they are.
Thanks for sharing your perspective, this was a meaningful piece for me and greatly appreciated.
Thanks Kristen for your honesty in sharing your experiences and insights. My dad remarried when I was about 21 to someone with 3 kids all in their late teens/early twenties. There was not a chance in hell that we were going to be anything close to the Brady Bunch. Still, eventually it all worked out. But as you so clearly illustrate, as much as we all bring our unique micro-cultures to the table when we get married, it can be a whole lot tougher when you throw in macro-cultural differences.
Wow, what an awesome, hilarious read! The visuals from that family get-together, my goodness!
My marriage to a Hungarian-Jamaican was intercultural. We divorced, so clearly there were issues, but not really related to cultural differences. That we both had mixed backgrounds and lived life straddling multiple worlds culturally actually served as a point of connection for us; plus we had the Jamaican side in common. My partner after that was Indian Parsi, and we were actually surprised at the similarities and overlap between our respective East Indian and West Indian backgrounds.
There seem to be two key factors that have a huge impact on intercultural relationships: 1) how similar/dissimilar the two cultures coming together are, and 2) how strong and distinct the cultural identities are for the two parties coming together. In both my situations, even though we weren’t from identical backgrounds, we had far more in common culturally than we had differences, so that made things easier. (We had other issues to contend with around personality, temperament, values, life goals, and expectations in general.)
Beyond the intercultural issue, this is such a valuable post offering so much on so many levels. It hits the nail on the head regarding how/why any marriage is so hard. I really appreciate the honesty that loving someone means working through problems and differences (and sometimes wanting to tear their head off.) And I love the concept of being flexible in one's approach, in that there’s a time and place for compromise, for finding middle ground, for giving in, for giving space, and for giving acceptance and freedom to let someone simply be the individual they are.
Thanks for sharing your perspective, this was a meaningful piece for me and greatly appreciated.
Thanks Kristen for your honesty in sharing your experiences and insights. My dad remarried when I was about 21 to someone with 3 kids all in their late teens/early twenties. There was not a chance in hell that we were going to be anything close to the Brady Bunch. Still, eventually it all worked out. But as you so clearly illustrate, as much as we all bring our unique micro-cultures to the table when we get married, it can be a whole lot tougher when you throw in macro-cultural differences.