By Susan Knight | We’re easily drawn to “if only” scenarios, but “what if” scenarios are just as valid, and the latter can lead us to reframe events and change our perspective.
I loved the flow and tone of this article but, it is that message that stuck with me. I think there are very few of us who have not spent time thinking about what ifs. Very few of us who have not gone down deep rabbit holes thinking about what if I had turned right that day. Yet it is in those moments when something like this happens that we are really exposed to the whole wrong place at the right time or was that right place at the wrong time flow of life. For me, that's when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you feel that shudder rise up from your soul.
I wrote a poem in my book A Sliver of a Chance, that was originally called What If. Reading this article I think it was concieved from the same DNA.
What would happen…
If I chose to go not stay?
If I chose nay, not yea?
Would life be the same?
Would they still remember my name?
What would happen…
If I chose left not right?
If I chose to run not fight?
Would the cobwebs of time ensnare my life?
Would peace prevail, not strife?
What would happen…
If I chose good not bad?
If I chose happy not sad?
Would friends shrug shoulders in disgust?
Would this cause me to gain or lose trust?
What would happen…
If I chose life not death?
If I chose not to give but get?
Would others join in singing my lifesong?
Would my selfishness be seen as wrong?
We choose and every choice
its consequences, repercussions, simplicity, complexity,
Thanks for the feedback Brian. In your book, your introduction to that poem ("I pray, dear reader, that you do not fall prey to your 'what ifs'") reminds me of Vernon's caution that such thinking can be detrimental. I'm now finding it interesting that such an obvious angle never entered my mind as I was writing.
In the context of my plywood incident, my "what ifs" were constructive in that they made me feel extremely lucky and grateful for all that could have happened, but didn't. Being fully immersed in that experience as I was writing, I was viewing the "what if" mindset as wholly positive.
A wonderful analogy of how easy it is to get caught up in all the "what ifs" and "if only's" Susan. Both of them rob us of our joy and appreciation for the moment. Our "what if's" generate fear and our "if only's" generate disappointment. I like to think that our "if only's" are the result of an occurrence that actually steered us away from something that could have been far worse. If things work out well, then "what ifs" don't really matter. Thanks Susan.
Nicely summed up Vernon. My "what ifs" ultimately left me feeling fortunate and grateful, which was very much a net positive. But you're right, focusing on "what ifs" when looking ahead can lock us up in fear unnecessarily and hold us back from taking action — not so good!
I loved the flow and tone of this article but, it is that message that stuck with me. I think there are very few of us who have not spent time thinking about what ifs. Very few of us who have not gone down deep rabbit holes thinking about what if I had turned right that day. Yet it is in those moments when something like this happens that we are really exposed to the whole wrong place at the right time or was that right place at the wrong time flow of life. For me, that's when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you feel that shudder rise up from your soul.
I wrote a poem in my book A Sliver of a Chance, that was originally called What If. Reading this article I think it was concieved from the same DNA.
What would happen…
If I chose to go not stay?
If I chose nay, not yea?
Would life be the same?
Would they still remember my name?
What would happen…
If I chose left not right?
If I chose to run not fight?
Would the cobwebs of time ensnare my life?
Would peace prevail, not strife?
What would happen…
If I chose good not bad?
If I chose happy not sad?
Would friends shrug shoulders in disgust?
Would this cause me to gain or lose trust?
What would happen…
If I chose life not death?
If I chose not to give but get?
Would others join in singing my lifesong?
Would my selfishness be seen as wrong?
We choose and every choice
its consequences, repercussions, simplicity, complexity,
all ripple their way into the rest of our lives
and the lives of those around us.
Like the ebb and flow of the tides
Our choices buffet us on the sea of Life.
Only one thing is clear!
We must
CHOOSE!
Thanks for the feedback Brian. In your book, your introduction to that poem ("I pray, dear reader, that you do not fall prey to your 'what ifs'") reminds me of Vernon's caution that such thinking can be detrimental. I'm now finding it interesting that such an obvious angle never entered my mind as I was writing.
In the context of my plywood incident, my "what ifs" were constructive in that they made me feel extremely lucky and grateful for all that could have happened, but didn't. Being fully immersed in that experience as I was writing, I was viewing the "what if" mindset as wholly positive.
...and rightly so because if we are willing and able to use our what ifs in a "lesson learning" way then they empower us
A wonderful analogy of how easy it is to get caught up in all the "what ifs" and "if only's" Susan. Both of them rob us of our joy and appreciation for the moment. Our "what if's" generate fear and our "if only's" generate disappointment. I like to think that our "if only's" are the result of an occurrence that actually steered us away from something that could have been far worse. If things work out well, then "what ifs" don't really matter. Thanks Susan.
Nicely summed up Vernon. My "what ifs" ultimately left me feeling fortunate and grateful, which was very much a net positive. But you're right, focusing on "what ifs" when looking ahead can lock us up in fear unnecessarily and hold us back from taking action — not so good!