“You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.”
By Vernon Hiller | While some people find it in themselves to reach for their goals, there are those who just need a little push.
By: Vernon Hiller for Sankarsingh-Gonsalves Productions
A few weeks ago, I had the privilege of attending a recruit graduation ceremony at the Toronto Fire Services training academy. Behind all the traditional pomp and circumstance, there was something else that filled the air, something less visible but just as tangible. The training that the recruits had undergone over the previous 18 weeks had been intense and it was evident that many had been pushed to the edge of their abilities. Initially I had some reservations about the bootcamp-style approach now used at the academy. Training into the late hours of the night, early morning 6:00 am drills, the endless repetition and pushing that many of them endured began to sound like a bit much. I have come to see, however, that the old military mantra that you have to “break them down in order to build them back up” may be more about showing individuals how much further beyond their perceived limits they are actually capable of going.
It has always been my belief that each of us have so much more potential than we generally access. What allowed me to begin accessing my potential was often something as simple as an inspiring quote, an epiphanic experience, a movie or someone who believed in me. Prior to that I allowed my fears to place limits on what I believed I was capable of achieving. I used to procrastinate, allowing my fear of the work it would take to make a change convince me to do nothing. Things were good enough for what I felt I deserved and was capable of attaining. Most importantly, nothing had yet come along that inspired me to change.
While my limiting thoughts and fears were always present, thankfully there was another part of me that had a strong desire to explore unfamiliar areas and then push myself to see how far I could go with them. At first these areas were predominantly athletic in nature, but I soon found that the adrenaline rush and sense of accomplishment I felt from achieving those goals could be applied to any number of challenges. I stayed motivated by visualizing the final outcome and how good it would feel to have achieved it. That gave me staying power and enabled me to persevere.
What I didn’t realize was that not all people are motivated this way. There are those for whom having someone in their corner who believes in them is not enough. While a movie may inspire, they are not able to internalize its inspirational message such that it takes hold of them and lasts. In order to take action towards achieving their goals, they need someone to push them to a place they never believed they were capable of going. If staying where they are takes less effort than what it will take to move to a better place, more often than not they stay where they are. To move forward, they need to be put in a position where giving up or staying put are the last worst options, otherwise that visual image of the finish line begins to wane and they lose motivation.
When I began applying to the fire services, applicants would be invited to complete a written aptitude test. If they excelled, then they would be invited to do a physical strength and stamina evaluation. One test involved doing as many pushups as possible in a minute. At one such evaluation there was an applicant beside me also being tested. I had been training hard for this and wanted to hit it out of the park. When the timer started, I began pounding out the pushups at a rapid-fire pace when suddenly I heard the guy next to me drop to the floor after 15 pushups and exclaim, “phew, that was the most I’ve ever done in my entire life.” I remember how amazed I was that this guy would come out for something that could be the opportunity of a lifetime and not be prepared. That, however, was my perspective. Maybe he just did not want it badly enough, or perhaps he needed someone to push him beyond what he thought himself capable of achieving. While I will never know the answer, what I failed to realize was just how common it is for people to underestimate their potential - unaware of what they can do if they put their minds to it or are pushed.
As mentioned earlier, the bootcamp training method never really appealed to me because I never fully understood its necessity. I assumed that anyone who enrolled in a boot camp or joined the military had already decided to push themselves beyond their physical limits. I did not know that there are many, like the person I once was, who need and indeed hope to be pushed. Although some may expect that they will just be allowed to slide through, I have come to see that there are those who secretly know what they need, but can’t do it alone. This realization has been something I have carried with me and has made me extremely grateful for having found my inspiration and motivation. Few things can match the feeling of having reached a hard-fought goal.
That was the feeling I sensed filling the air that day at the recruit graduation. It was palpable. It was the pride of the instructors, parents and friends, but most notably the pride that the recruits felt. It was clear in the video shown and the speeches given by the two valedictorians that the lessons learned far outweighed the pain they had endured. Lessons like teamwork is what wins the day, that nothing great comes without a price, that you don’t know how far you can go until you are pushed, and that the satisfaction which comes from attaining a hard-fought goal is something no one can ever take from you.
While these are lessons I learned over the course of my life, there are those who may need just that extra push in order to learn them for themselves. The lesson I learned at the graduation is that while the carrot may work for some, for others to acheive the same result, sometimes inspiration alone may not be enough. Sometimes a persuasion stick may be exactly what is required…metaphorically speaking of course.
About the Author: Vernon Hiller is a decorated District Chief of Operations (Retired) with the Toronto Fire Services and has served the city for over 36 years. He is a Board member with LEADR - a charitable non-profit organization dedicated to providing literacy tutoring for adults in Durham Region. - Having struggled with ADHD as a child, Vernon is passionate about helping others discover the potential that hides within them.
This provided a very thoughtful exploration Vernon. I appreciated the acknowledgement that people are motivated in so many different ways. As stated, the right approach can bring out someone's best, revealing how much they're capable of. On the other hand, an ill-suited approach might be not just ineffective, but destructive to individuals (and in some cases relationships), hindering potential rather than revealing it. Understanding what works best for oneself can be very helpful for identifying the most/least constructive environments to be in.
There's also huge variance when it comes to how skillfully different people can motivate others using various approaches. Some people are quite comfortable wielding that metaphorical stick and can do so in a way that yields positive results. Others are far more effective setting aside the stick and leveraging other approaches.