Whatever happened to Valentine’s Day?

By Sylvie Edwards | Sheds some light on Valentine's Day and challenges the contemporary focus on consumerism

By

Sylvie Edwards

for Sankarsingh-Gonsalves Productions

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

We love, well – love. We have an entire day devoted to it. Yes, you guessed it – Valentine’s Day. My question to you all is: When did Valentine’s Day stop being something with meaning rather than an exercise in consumerism? Let’s see if we can shed some light on this. By the way I don’t think we’ll have an answer… but we’ll get this off our system.

Full disclosure, my posts usually start with some thought, rant on something that I’ve seen which I become a tad obsessed with and go into full on research mode. This post started in this same way.

I was sitting home one night and in the space of the hour-long program on television there were no less than 6 ads about the perfect way to show your true love your appreciation on Valentine’s Day. None of these 6 ads talked about having a nice conversation, giving the “apple of your eye” a compliment or a hug, no, all these ads were somehow related to you having to go to a store, call or order something online that would fill everyone’s aspirations of perfect love. With this thought in mind, I went on to research – the true meaning of Valentine’s Day.

It always is a wise thing to start with a bit of history. Early in my research process, I realized that the origins of the Valentine’s Day ritual is far from clear. According to one theory, the holiday is associated with the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia, a fertility celebration that was observed annually on February 15th. During the festival, men would draw the names of women from a box, and each couple would be paired until the following year’s celebration. I won’t elaborate any more on this one, but wow came to my mind. Another theory suggests that Valentine’s Day is named after Saint Valentine, a Catholic priest who lived in Rome in the 3rd century. He was sought after as he performed secret marriages for couples who were forbidden to do so by the Roman Empire. Who is the Roman Empire to stand in the way of true love? But it gets more complicated from here. As it turns out, at least three Valentines were sainted by the Catholic Church, and each one has his own group of supporters claiming he’s behind the holiday.

Over the passage of time, Valentine’s Day established itself as a celebration of all things love related and is celebrated by most Countries on February 14th. It is important to note, that not all countries celebrate or have traditions associated with Valentine’s Day. What I will discuss next is about the traditions or practices that are prevalent in Canada and the United States from where most of the television programming I am exposed to comes from.

Now that we have some of the history down, let me pose the question? When did we start associating Valentine’s Day with flowers, chocolates, or expensive restaurant dinners?

That I could not find a definite answer. Let’s look at the “stuff” we are marketed with – first candies. Candy hearts originated in the late 1800s with a Boston pharmacist who made “Necco” wafers as “lozenges.” His brother had the brilliant idea to print sayings on them for many occasions, but it was the messages of love that really took off. One of the first Valentine’s messages was “How long shall I have to wait?” How … romantic? Candies and chocolates of all kinds, mostly heart shaped, have endured. Next – cards. According to history, one of our St. Valentine didn’t just fall in love with his jailer’s daughter. He also sent her a final farewell letter, signed “from your Valentine.” Romantic Victorians ran with this phrase, signing it on elaborate Valentine’s Day cards professing their love during the holiday. In 1913, when Hallmark began mass-producing official valentines, it cemented the tradition, which continues to this day.

Now on to flowers – Flowers are universally recognized as a symbol, especially the red rose. Red has long represented love and passion, perhaps because it is the color of the blood being pumped through the heart. The rose comes from Greek mythology—the red rose (symbolizing the blood of Adonis) was dedicated specifically to Aphrodite, the goddess of love. Similarly, white roses symbolize purity. Pink roses intertwine purity and romance, so many people choose bouquets with all three colors.

When exactly do we all start going gaga on “buying” our love? Things took a turn for the commercial in the early 1900s, when Cadbury created a heart-shaped box for its chocolates. From there, it’s history! Ever since then you name it, someone produces it and it gets marketed for the purpose of love. It also starts lining the store shelves just towards the end of the Christmas holidays. Lingerie is always popular and yes, the super expensive set menu at your local eatery. Personally, I don’t go out at that time as prices are jacked up and the set menu options, and the crowd just don’t do it for me.

Shouldn’t Valentine’s Day be more about simple, less material things? After all love is a feeling that can hardly be measured, weighted or counted. Although Romeo did tell Juliet: “let me count the ways”. I truly believe that if we went back to a more simplistic approach which involves fewer purchased gestures that we might appreciate the sentiment better. Feel the sentiment, the love. I still remember the hand-drawn card my 5 years’ old made for me with pride. That’s the sentiment that we should aim for, not another bill to pay for at the end of the month. We’re barely done with Christmas bills and here we go again. Did I mention that Easter merchandise has started to make their appearance on store shelves?

This Valentine’s Day why don’t you break with some of those traditions and simply give someone a smile, let them know they count in your life. Heck, why don’t we treat everyday as a day to show the ones we love that we care… without the “stuff”. As the Beatles sang: “Can’t buy me Love”.

About the author: Sylvie Edwards has been involved in Project Management in several industries for more than 25 years, overseeing projects in the IT, Banking, Health, Government and Securities sectors. She is a post secondary #educator assisting hundreds of potential PMP® achieve their certification, and a blogger on all things related to #projectmanagement. Sylvie is a two term past President and current member on the board of directors for the PMI-DHC (Project Management Institute- Durham Highlands Chapter). She had the honour of being named Fellow of the Project Management Association of Canada (FPMAC).