We’re in the Midst of a Friendship Crisis
By Susan Knight | SGP Health & Wellness Columnist
Written by Susan Knight for Sankarsingh-Gonsalves Productions.
It’s not approaching; it’s here in full force. We are in the midst of a friendship crisis.
Myth: everyone has close friends. That is, everyone barring a few rare outliers, like the odd person here and there who’s exceptionally anti-social in their attitude. Or a small minority of individuals who are highly dysfunctional in their behaviour. Or those few people who are debilitatingly introverted in their nature.
Reality: a shockingly large number of people don’t have close friends, well beyond the occasional outlier. A 2019 YouGov survey of 1254 adults living in the United States found 21% of respondents had no close friends. That’s one out of every five adults.
In 2018, the BBC cited a British Red Cross study where one-fifth of the 4000 adult participants said they had no close friends at all, right in line with the US findings. On top of that, more than one-third of the UK study’s participants said they often felt alone with no-one to talk to.
The friendship landscape in Canada is no different. Of the 1000 men across Canada who participated in the 2023 Budweiser Friendship Survey, 20% of them reported not having close friends.
In other words, if you have 25 work colleagues, there’s a good chance five of them don’t have a close friend. Yet everyone shows up to work (be it in person or virtually) wearing a smile and saying their weekend was great. Outside of work, their online presence consists of carefully crafted personas across social media that give the appearance everything is fine.
When people have no close friends and no-one to talk to, we can safely assume loneliness won’t be far behind. According to Statistics Canada, 13% of Canadians aged 15 and older report feeling lonely often or always. That’s more than four million men and women across the country. To fully grasp the magnitude of this, take a moment to think about eight people you’ve interacted with over the past week. Now, consider the very real possibility one of those individuals feels lonely all the time. If your social circle skews towards a younger crowd, the situation is even more dire, with 23% of people between the ages of 15 to 24 years reporting they feel lonely often or always. These statistics reflect real people we know, people we work with or otherwise come into contact with.
This widespread lack of close friendships will inevitably lead to harm, because we’re not meant to live in isolation. Meaningful connections are essential for all aspects of our health and wellbeing. These connections enrich us and increase our life satisfaction. They enable us to cope with life’s challenges, from minor upsets to major losses and disappointments. They help us manage stress and make healthier choices, thereby improving our overall health and reducing our risk of illness.
Importantly, these connections provide a safeguard against loneliness. When close friendships are absent and loneliness sets in, it naturally follows that mental health will deteriorate. This isn’t mere speculation; we’re witnessing it unfold before us. Of the millions of Canadians dealing with extreme loneliness, nearly half of them (49%) report having just fair or poor mental health.
It’s distressing to think millions of people don’t have a close friend they can trust, talk with, and turn to in times of need. It’s alarming to think of the far-reaching repercussions, both in people’s personal lives and across society on a whole.
While there’s no quick fix to a complex situation with multiple contributing factors, we can all work to be a little bit more aware within our own social circle. We don’t need to try and guess who the one-in-five is around us with no close friends; or who the one-in-eight is around us that feels lonely much of the time. Instead, we can strive to show genuine interest in people’s lives, the underlying message being that we care and we’re available. In doing so, we create opportunities to establish meaningful connections, and we open the door for close friendships to develop.
About the Author:
Susan Knight | SGP Featured Writer | Contact the author: @ http://skfreelance.com
Susan is certified health and wellness coach with a focus on personal growth and inner wellness. She was a regular contributor to Social Work Today Magazine and is a featured Health & Wellness Columnist for SGP.
Notes:
1. YouGov Friendship Study – July 2019: https://d25d2506sfb94s.cloudfront.net/cumulus_uploads/document/m97e4vdjnu/Results%20for%20YouGov%20RealTime%20%28Friendship%29%20164%205.7.2019.xlsx%20%20%5BGroup%5D.pdf
2. What is it like to live without any friends?
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-46320445
3. Are Canadian Men Experiencing a Friendship Recession? Budweiser Canada Champions the Importance of Male Friendships
https://www.newswire.ca/news-releases/are-canadian-men-experiencing-a-friendship-recession-budweiser-canada-champions-the-importance-of-male-friendships-813284413.html
4. Loneliness in Canada Nov 14/21
https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/11-627-m/11-627-m2021090-eng.htm
 | A guest post by
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Thank you Susan for your insights into what has become such a problem for so many. Our young seem especially vulnerable to this lack of connectedness. As a parent who discusses this topic quite often with other parents, it breaks my heart to hear that so many of our young people are suffering from such debilitating loneliness. Our youth is supposed to be a time for connecting with ourselves and others, but instead, the signs of loneliness and depression are being seen all around us. Thank you for shining a light on this incredibly important topic.
I felt deep sadness while reading this article for it is the stark reality of our times.
The Canadian Index of Wellbeing has a domain called Community Vitality with an element called Social Support that states: Social support describes the feeling or act of being cared for or assisted by others in one’s social network. Social networks are often formed around shared interests or needs, and members can include family, friends and neighbours from whom or to whom a person gives or receives emotional, physical, financial or informational support. Although when the CIW survey was last done in 2014, the percentage of the population reporting 5 or more friends was 52% it would be interesting to see what this number is at post COVID.
Anecdotally however, I can personally say that I believe that one of the reasons for the short tempers and road rage incidents that seem to be on the rise is loneliness. Thank you for writing this and highlighting what is fast becoming a wellbeing and mental health epidemic.