Seeking Veritas by The Professor, The Poet & Friends

Share this post

The Departed: A Tribute to a Fellow Traveller

sgproductions.substack.com

Discover more from Seeking Veritas by The Professor, The Poet & Friends

A collection of our writings, musings and attempts at honest discourse. - Neil Gonsalves (The professor) & Brian Sankarsingh (The poet) collaborate here to build a community of emerging writers while celebrating viewpoint diversity.
Continue reading
Sign in
Health & Wellness Column

The Departed: A Tribute to a Fellow Traveller

Written by Neil Gonsalves for Seeking Veritas on Substack

Neil Gonsalves
Oct 10, 2023
4
Share this post

The Departed: A Tribute to a Fellow Traveller

sgproductions.substack.com
2
Share
black and gray 3-piece dining set
Photo by Emiliano Cicero on Unsplash

One day you’re sitting on a roof top patio having lunch, talking about writing books, starting a book club, discussing collaborative projects and figuring out the best days to do your monthly lunch get togethers; a couple of weeks later you’re reading a message telling you your friend is gone.

The search for meaning is generally futile; some questions just remain unanswered. An anticlimactic conclusion to a friendship cut short by an unpredictable life event.  Reprieve is only found in the memories remaining. The conversations once had, the plans once made that will never come to fruition. A friend gone, a confidant lost, that’s one less friendly face I will pass, in the days that will inevitably come, and necessarily pass.

Mourning is an interesting experience. There is sadness and loss, regret over things left unsaid and conversation left with a pin in them, ones you can no longer go back to that will forever remain unfinished. - Then insidiously imposter syndrome wraps jaundiced tentacles; how can I grieve, there are so many who were closer, who probably hurt deeper. There are so many who were around longer, whose memories span decades. - But grief is unpredictable and it does not neatly organize itself in order of importance. It just needs to be experienced in whatever way feels right.

Share

For us outliers and misfits, camaraderie is rare, genuine connections are few and far between. - There was comfort sitting around the small table, in those high back chairs arranged in a circle; sipping coffee, having a natter and finding comfort in friendship, laughter, and conversation on challenging days. A fellow traveller on life’s journey, bonded together with a shared identity we called “constructive deviance” characterized by a willingness to cause discomfort with the primary objective of challenging and improving the status quo.

The generosity of spirit, the kindness of word, the lack of pretension characterized his being and is the memory that remains. He will always be larger than life, a true free spirit, who shared his Indigenous heritage with pride and always made room for others to join his circle. He was the best kind.

In the end there is no right way to grieve. Life is unpredictable and there is never a guarantee of tomorrow. Now all that is left is to raise a glass and offer a toast - here’s to those, whose presence enrich others, whose passing leaves a void, and whose memory still produces a smile.

Long may your big jib draw! - Ride on, b’y!

Here’s to the Departed!

Share Seeking Veritas by The Professor, The Poet & Friends

Written by Neil Gonsalves for Seeking Veritas on Substack

About the Author:

Neil Gonsalves is an Indian-born Canadian immigrant who grew up in Dubai, U.A.E. and moved to Canada in 1995. He is an Ontario college educator, a TEDx speaker, an author and columnist, and an advocate for new immigrant integration and viewpoint diversity.

4
Share this post

The Departed: A Tribute to a Fellow Traveller

sgproductions.substack.com
2
Share
Previous
Next
2 Comments
Share this discussion

The Departed: A Tribute to a Fellow Traveller

sgproductions.substack.com
Susan Knight
Oct 10Liked by Neil Gonsalves

This was a touching and meaningful tribute. Life is indeed unpredictable and there truly is no guarantee of tomorrow. Those genuine connections are to be embraced, enjoyed, and cherished.

I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for capturing your experience in words.

Expand full comment
Reply
Share
Anna Garleff
Oct 10·edited Oct 11Liked by Neil Gonsalves

The pain of grief is sharp, stinging; the rawness festers and is washed in regular convulsions with the salty waves of time. I am sorry for your loss. I am happy for your friendship. Pain is the price of love.

Expand full comment
Reply
Share
Top
New
Community

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 Neil Gonsalves & Brian Sankarsingh
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing