Male Friendships in Mental Health

Brian Sankarsingh talks about why men need male friends they can confide in

 In North America, we live in a society that often glorifies independence and self-sufficiency. Being able to “make it on your own” is a vicious myth. No one has ever been able to make it on their own. This is especially true for men. Beyond mere camaraderie, men need friendships with other men to provide a safe space for emotional expression, vulnerability, and crucially, the opportunity to confide in someone without fear of judgment. If they do not have this, they become cold, callous, egoistic and venal. Traditionally, societal norms have imposed strict standards of masculinity on men, discouraging emotional expression and vulnerability. Consequently, many men have been conditioned to suppress their feelings and refrain from seeking emotional support, even when they are struggling. This stigma surrounding male vulnerability can have detrimental effects on mental health, leading to feelings of isolation, loneliness, and increased risk of mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety.

Amidst these societal expectations, male friendships serve as invaluable sources of support and understanding. Unlike romantic relationships or familial ties, friendships among men often provide a unique space for emotional expression free from the pressure of traditional gender roles. In these bonds, men can let down their guard, share their struggles, and seek advice without fearing judgment or ridicule. One of the most critical aspects of male friendships is the opportunity to confide in a trusted male friend. Having a male friend to confide in can alleviate feelings of loneliness and provide much-needed emotional validation. Whether it's discussing personal challenges, navigating relationships, or grappling with mental health issues, having a male confidant can significantly impact a man’s well-being. Building and maintaining strong friendships can serve as a powerful antidote to these feelings, providing a sense of belonging and companionship. Whether it's grabbing a beer after work, having breakfast together, playing sports, or simply having a heart-to-heart conversation, spending quality time with friends can significantly improve mental well-being. Male friendships can encourage positive mental health practices by promoting open communication and emotional honesty.

Neil Gonsalves

and I wrote a book about an immigrant man struggling with finding his place in a North American world. It gives the reader a view into the mind a man fighting with and pushing against these exact types of feelings and emotions. A Broken Soul: A Men’s Mental Health Short Story was written for the men who often feel it is “unmanly” to show vulnerability or weakness. While some part of them knows that this makes no sense emotionally, physiologically or logically, they still believe it. It’s been drilled into them by their parents, their peers and society at large. To protect their psyche, they learn to compartmentalize those feelings, and unfortunately, over time, the emotional intuitiveness hardened, turning them into less than emotional beings. They can change, but they need to want to change and have male friends who would encourage and support that change.

If you are a man and you Need to understand your mental health, there are many supports out there for you, including the Canadian Men’s Health Foundation

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Bio: BRIAN SANKARSINGH is a Trinidadian-born Canadian immigrant who has published several books of poetry on a wide range of social and historical themes including racism, colonialism, and enslavement. Sankarsingh artfully blends prose and poetry into his storytelling creating an eclectic mix with both genres. This unique approach is sure to provide something for everyone.