In Celebration of Simple Gifts

By Susan Knight | Reflecting on meals prepared with love, and other simple gifts.

Written by Susan Knight | Seeking Veritas Columnist | Sankarsingh-Gonsalves Productions.

Photo by Soroush Karimi on Unsplash

This was inspired by the article “Whatever happened to Valentine’s Day?” by Sylvie Edwards, in which she points out the best gifts aren’t necessarily the most expensive ones.

My partner Derius loved to cook, and he was an excellent cook, completely at home in the kitchen. He changed my perspective on what cooking was all about. For instance, I was proud of my quiche and accustomed to receiving compliments on it, but he took things to the next level by preparing his quiche pastry from scratch. He introduced me to dishes I had never had before, like Middle Eastern tabbouleh and red Thai curry, and he taught me how to prepare them.

One Sunday afternoon, I carefully planned out a meal I had never prepared before. Some soup to start with, then the main dish. I thought about how everything would come together and how the different flavours would complement each other. Imagine my delight when he said it was the best meal I had prepared in the seven years we had been together! He was impressed and touched by the effort I made; I could not have been happier.

Little did I know that would be the very last meal we would share together. He died of a stroke five days later.

Cooking With Love

There’s no way around the grief and sadness that comes with the death of someone you love dearly. I missed him then, and I still miss him now. But that last shared meal was, and still is, a huge comfort.

Derius was the one who taught me how cooking with love totally transforms the food. Objectively, that final meal I prepared for him was a good one, but it wasn’t spectacular or lavish. A large part of what made it special was the love that went into it. He knew I had stretched myself to prepare a meal that was better than anything I had done before, because I understood how much he valued good food and a well-planned meal. He could see the thought and work I put into it, and he expressed how much it meant to him and how much he appreciated it.

Simple Gifts

Throughout our relationship, some of the best gifts Derius and I exchanged were simple ones. Alongside all my gifts to him, I would always include some kind of fun little book with pictures of dogs. Without fail, he would wind up setting aside whatever I had given him to focus on the book. Pictures of dogs in the water, pictures of dogs rolling in the grass, pictures of dogs leaping through the air; he would be in heaven as he turned the pages. A special treat for me was when he would bring me fresh flowers from his garden. Beautiful white lilacs, or a stunning mix of pink and fuchsia peonies. It cost him nothing, yet those flowers were priceless (I’m so glad I took pictures of them at the time.)

And while fresh flowers only last a short while, there’s also the oleander bush he was growing that he gave to me. We were both excited when it bloomed indoors for me, providing an incredible display of flowers non-stop for three months. Fast-forward to today, it’s now taller than I am and still growing healthy and strong.

New Traditions

Getting back to food: I believe there’s something about cooking for people that’s powerful and bonding. In providing nourishment for the body, you’re providing nourishment for the soul as well. Food is a socially acceptable means by which we can take care of others and allow ourselves to be taken care of. It’s fitting that when we pack up leftovers for someone to take home after a visit, we call it a “care” package.

With all that in mind, I’ve started a new tradition with one of my friends: whenever I visit her and I have time beforehand, I prepare some fritters to bring along. Onion fritters. Salmon fritters. Lentil fritters. With each visit, I tweak the recipe and try something new. So simple, but it’s become a special tradition we both enjoy.

My friend tells me the fritters are amazing. Judging from how quickly they disappear, she’s not kidding! I have to admit, I think they’re very, very good. And I’m convinced it’s due not just to my cooking skills, but to the love that goes into them.

About the Author

Susan Knight | SGP Featured Writer | http://skfreelance.com 

Susan is certified health and wellness coach, focusing on personal growth and inner wellness. She was a regular contributor to Social Work Today Magazine and is now a featured Health & Wellness Columnist for SGP.