How do we know which of our goals adds the most value to our lives?
By Vernon Hiller | The ability to set long term goals is one of the most essential skills for moving us forward. This article examines our criteria for choosing which goals are most valuable.
By: Vernon Hiller for Sankarsingh-Gonsalves Productions
I always believed that I discovered the value of setting goals later in life. I never really understood their potential for growth until my twenties. In my earlier years I viewed friends who excelled in high school and then went off to university as having it all figured out. They could set a goal to do well in a subject and then succeed at it. They made going to a particular university their goal and would then make it happen. It just seemed that once they consciously set a goal and put their minds to it, voila - school valedictorian, academic scholar, an “A” student and university graduate. I would look at them with envy and amazement that they seemed to be able to do so easily what I struggled with endlessly. I wasn’t even on the same playing field, let alone in the same league as them.
So when I finally began to see the value in setting and achieving goals, it was a real revelation to me. The first thing that opened my eyes to its potential was when I started lifting weights at the age of 18. At first it was just a casual engagement, but as I began to see some improvement I became motivated to work out more. By the time I turned twenty I was going to the gym regularly and making impressive gains in my strength training. I would set a goal for how much weight I wanted to lift and then upon achieving it I would set a higher goal. It didn’t take long before the idea of setting goals began to move into other areas of my life. Once it did I became driven to achieve all sorts of things. So, I have always looked back and given credit to that period in my life as being the point at which my passion for not just goal-setting but personal growth was ignited. Today however, I realized that assumption was wrong.
I have always been a goal setter. I had just not placed any value on my early achievements because they were easier for me than academics. Because I enjoyed them, they didn’t feel like work or something I had to force myself to reach. So I didn’t view achieving them as being worthy of respect. My difficulties with academics had lead me to attach feelings of pain and struggle to what it meant to achieve a goal. It never occurred to me that setting goals could be fun and rewarding.
Looking back over my youth, I can see that I’ve always been driven to achieve in certain areas. On the playground in elementary school I always wanted to be the fastest runner, the highest jumper or the last person standing in a dodgeball game. I wanted to earn my gold fitness badge or reach the next level in swimming lessons. I set goals like learning to do flips off the diving board, walking on my hands and learning new boogie-woogie licks on the piano.
My imagination and desire to explore exciting new things led me to build tree houses and push go-karts, to learn to snow ski, water ski and get my driver’s licence. Not only were all of these goals that I set for myself, but they also contributed greatly to my ability to fit in, get along and make friends…a skill in itself. I just never gave myself any credit for reaching such goals because for the most part they were fun and easy. Apart from my driver’s license I never really gave much weight to my achievements because I couldn’t see what value they added to my life.
I saw goals as things that were difficult but would move me forward in life. This included things like getting a degree, becoming a manager, executive or entrepreneur, becoming wealthy and owning lots of property. I believed that the only way I could achieve goals like these was to excel at academics, something I had never been good at. I overvalued academic skills and undervalued and diminished what I saw as recreational skills.
What I know now but didn’t know then is that eventually it all has a way of coming together. Everything we learn, achieve, set out to do and enjoy, all add some measure of value to the person we end up becoming. Every achievement no matter how small, blends with all our other achievements to create a package that has tremendous value and potential. Sometimes it is actually the smaller seemingly less important skills, talents or innate abilities that lend the most to getting us to a place of fulfillment.
More often than not it’s those soft skills that play the biggest part in helping us build a successful life for ourself. Never underestimate the value of pursuing goals you love - those you most naturally excel at - because it is those things that when combined with all your other achievements, will get you up in the morning, make you look forward to the day ahead, and ultimately bring you success.
About the Author: Vernon Hiller is a decorated District Chief of Operations (Retired) with the Toronto Fire Services and has served the city for over 36 years. He is a Board member with LEADR - a charitable non-profit organization dedicated to providing literacy tutoring for adults in Durham Region. - Having struggled with ADHD as a child, Vernon is passionate about helping others discover the potential that hides within them.
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