Go Ahead and Ask Me About My Background
(Susan Knight | SGP Health & Wellness Featured Columnist)
Written by Susan Knight for Sankarsingh-Gonsalves Productions.
“What are you?”
I’m not a fan of this question. At best, it’s clumsy, poorly worded, and off-putting. At worst, it can be interpreted as insulting and offensive. It’s been decades since I last heard this question personally, which makes me think a growing number of people recognize that it doesn’t come across well.
“What’s your background?”
This question, I think, is much better. In fact, I quite like this question. To me, it reflects curiosity and interest, and I appreciate that someone wants to find out more about me. At the same time, I feel no obligation to volunteer information I’m not comfortable sharing. Instead, my own curiosity and interest might prompt me to counter with, “What exactly do you mean?” or, “Why do you ask?” There have been occasions where the motivation for someone to ask about my background was entirely different from what I expected; and the angle they were coming from was nothing I could have anticipated.
Ultimately, when asked about my background, I’m free to respond in any manner I choose. Depending on the situation and how the question is presented, I might answer with, “I’m Canadian,” and end things there. Or I might offer a variation of that and say, “I grew up in Canada.” The latter response naturally opens the door for a follow-up question like, “Where were you born?” or “Where are you from originally?” I typically don’t have a problem with questions like this when the overall tone of the conversation otherwise has been friendly and respectful.
Of course, it’s a two-way street. I can always turn things around and ask the individual about their background. Doing so has led to my understanding of the world expanding, allowing me to learn about places I had little or no previous knowledge of. Isle of Man? Hungary? The island of Mauritius? The Gujarat region? There’s a big world out there beyond what I’ve directly encountered. Like everyone else, I’m aware of this on an intellectual level. But listening to people share from their personal lives has a way of bringing those intellectual concepts to life, infusing them with added colour, depth, and dimension.
I also like the breadth of the word “background” and how it can pertain to different aspects of one’s life. Sure, the starting place for the question might be to learn more about my ethno-racial background or my nationality. But there’s also my cultural background. There’s my family background, my childhood, and my upbringing. My background includes relationships and meaningful connections I’ve had. It includes all the events that have impacted me over the years.
Ultimately, my background encompasses my entire life story, everything that has shaped me, and all the experiences that have brought me to where I am today. Depending on who I’m speaking with, the occasion, and the mood at the time, one never knows what direction the conversation might move in, what road we might go down, and what discoveries we might make in the process.
“What are you?” I’m all for doing away with this question. It’s clumsy, awkward, and loaded with all kinds of connotations we can do without. But go ahead and ask me about my background any time, and let’s see where the conversation takes us.
About the Author: | SGP Featured Writer | Contact the author: http://skfreelance.com
Susan is certified health and wellness coach with a focus on personal growth and inner wellness. She was a regular contributor to Social Work Today Magazine and is a featured Health & Wellness Columnist for SGP.
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