Don’t Let Your Brain Get Hijacked by Emotion
By Susan Knight | Explosive emotionally charged outbursts can cause serious damage to relationships, but things don’t have to escalate to that stage.
Written by Susan Knight | Seeking Veritas Columnist | Sankarsingh-Gonsalves Productions
Have you ever been enraged, frustrated, or aggravated to the point where you can’t think straight? Logic and reason go out the window; you’re one step away from morphing into the stereotypical red-faced cartoon character who has smoke blowing out of his ears. Having totally lost control, you find yourself exploding and lashing out in an intense, emotionally charged outburst.
Cartoon characters aside, in the real world, this kind of extreme behaviour is rarely funny. Sure, once the dust settles and you’ve had time to cool off, you might find yourself laughing at what was clearly a ridiculous overreaction to some petty annoyance. More often than not, however, some degree of damage has occurred, especially if your behaviour was directed at or witnessed by someone else. Even if your outbursts never progress beyond anything verbal, this kind of out-of-control behaviour still has the potential to wreak havoc on relationships, sometimes irreparably.
Hijacking the Logical, Rational Brain
When you’re actively caught up in such an intense, emotionally charged outburst, you really do feel as if you no longer have control of yourself. Once emotions get the upper hand, it feels like you’re under the control of an overwhelming force you’re powerless to resist. Anger management counsellors describe the process leading up to this state as the emotional brain hijacking the logical, rational brain.
Once this hijacking process is underway, most people find it near impossible to regain control, hence why it’s so important to intercept the process before it starts — and it absolutely can be intercepted. A degree of self-awareness is required, as is a willingness to consciously manage one’s thought process. Many people who were previously at the mercy of their anger management issues have trained themselves to do it successfully.
Reflection: Identify Alternative Responses
Begin by recalling a situation where you lost your head and overreacted to something. Note how the situation unfolded and what it was that pushed you over the edge. As you reflect on the situation, consider how you could have handled it differently. What would have been a good response in the situation? Continue to give it a bit more thought; what would have been an even better response than the one you just came up with? As you reflect, write down your “good” and “better” responses.
As you work through this sequence of steps, you’ll gain insight into what triggers you and the specific conditions that are most likely to set you off. You’ll also be providing yourself with alternatives for how to handle similar situations in future. Gain practice by repeating these steps several times with recent outburst incidents, even if the incidents were relatively mild.
Reflection combined with writing is a powerful method for solidifying all those insights you gain and all those alternative responses you come up with. As you repeatedly engage in the thought process leading to those alternative responses, you’ll find it starts to feel increasingly natural and familiar. That ease and familiarity makes it easier to tap into that thought process at will. With a strategy at your disposal which you can leverage in real time when you need it, the stage is set; you can move beyond incident reflection and shift your focus to incident prevention.
Prevention: Actively Intercept the Hijacking Process
The next time you encounter a triggering event, you don’t have to let your emotional brain take over the way it typically would have in the past. Instead, you can apply the thought process you’ve been practicing to identify alternative ways to handle the situation. What would be a good way to respond? What would be an even better way to respond? Rather than getting to the stage of being overcome by emotion, you keep your head on straight and select an alternative response you think would be most appropriate. You’re in control, and you’ve actively intercepted the hijacking process.
Although this strategy is widely used as an anger management technique, it has broader applications that make it useful even for those who don’t struggle with anger management issues. There are other scenarios, such as when we feel anxious or nervous, where we can benefit from intercepting our usual, emotion driven behaviour in order to respond more thoughtfully, purposefully, and constructively.
The human brain is incredibly complex, and emotions have an important role to play amidst all that complexity. The onus is on us to exercise our minds and our will to utilize all that brain power in a way that best meets our needs, rather than letting our emotions take over and run the show. Whether we’re dealing with anger management issues, or just looking for ways to manage day to day situations more effectively and make better choices in general, the ability to stay in control of our emotions while steering our thoughts will always be a key contributor to success.
About the author: Susan Knight | SGP Featured Writer | Contact the author: @ http://skfreelance.com
Susan is certified health and wellness coach with a focus on personal growth and inner wellness. She was a regular contributor to Social Work Today Magazine and is a featured Health & Wellness Columnist for SGP.
Sankarsingh-Gonsalves Productions. 2024 ©️