Deciphering Fear’s Hidden Message
By Susan Knight | Fear is universal, highly personal, and always carries a message.
Written by Susan Knight | Seeking Veritas Columnist | Sankarsingh-Gonsalves Productions
Fear is universal; it’s also highly personal. Something that elicits deep-seated fear in one person might be perceived very differently, and in a far less threatening manner, by someone else. Nevertheless, everyone experiences fear from time to time, for one reason or another. Furthermore, the manner in which fear manifests itself varies greatly depending upon a multitude of factors. It might show up as a mild touch of nerves, an uncomfortable knot in the pit of the stomach, or a suffocating force that wraps all around us, steadily squeezing tighter and tighter.
Regardless of how it manifests, fear always has a message embedded within it, and we benefit from directing our attention towards deciphering that message. Unmanaged, fear can leave us feeling out of control, but consciously shifting our attention to the message it carries helps us retain a measure of control amidst all the feelings and sensations we’re experiencing.
An alert to dangerous situations.
In its most raw and primal form, fear’s message is meant to alert you to dangerous situations in order to protect you from harm. Through a blend of instinct, intuition, and past experience, you're able to detect subtle cues, discrepancies, inconsistencies, and other warning signs indicating that a situation is potentially harmful or dangerous. In these situations, the sense of fear you experience may arrive as a quick and sudden momentary flash, kicking in long before you have time to break a situation down and logically analyze all the details.
Whether it's a new relationship, a business arrangement, the route you’re planning to take when driving home from work, or the shortcut through the laneway you're planning to walk down, it’s worth taking note when that warning thought, seemingly from out of nowhere, flashes through your mind; or that sudden twinge of fear pulses through your body. Heed the message, and make the adjustments needed to protect your safety and well-being.
An indication of inadequate preparation.
Have you ever been in a situation where even though you have every reason to feel confident pursuing a particular course of action, there’s still a subtle nagging feeling of fear buzzing at the back of your mind? Vague as it may be, something is holding you back from moving forward.
Planning and preparation are confidence-builders and key ingredients for success, equipping you to venture out and take informed, calculated risks. When a critical piece is lacking in those plans and preparation, it’s natural to sense that something is off. This kind of fear isn’t a reason to abandon your plans altogether; it’s a helpful warning to slow down and make sure you have all your ducks in a row before proceeding. It’s a tap on the shoulder warning that you're overlooking essential information or accidentally omitting a critical step. When fear is due to inadequate preparation and the relevant issue or component is properly addressed, the fear dissipates and you're able to proceed with confidence.
It may also be that in spite of all your preparation, the timing simply isn’t right. The solution? Patience. Instead of ignoring that feeling of fear and doggedly charging ahead, consider pressing pause and allowing a bit of time and space for elements outside your control to come together. Later, with the benefit of hindsight, you’ll be able to clearly see how various pieces of the puzzle required time in order to fall into place in just the right way.
A reference point for going outside your comfort zone.
Throughout our lives, growth requires that we push ourselves in ways that feel a little bit (sometimes extremely) uncomfortable. While that sense of discomfort is normal, how do you determine when you're taking on too much, pushing too far, or venturing into unsafe territory? In other words, when is normal discomfort not so normal anymore? When is discomfort no longer a healthy sign of stretching yourself, but rather an indication you’re heading down the wrong path?
It’s natural to experience fear or nervousness when you start a new endeavour or find yourself attempting to navigate unfamiliar terrain. When you’re attuned to what this feels like for you personally, you can use it as a reference point whenever you find yourself in a situation that takes you outside of your comfort zone. This allows you to recognize when the fear you're feeling in a particular situation is the normal type of apprehension which accompanies the unknown, the typical unease that goes hand in hand with growth of any kind. In contrast, you can also recognize when the fear you’re experiencing is different in nature, more extreme, or more unsettling than what you’ve experienced before. You can distinguish when what you’re feeling isn’t just reasonable discomfort, but outright disturbance, an indication that something is amiss.
Motivation to take action.
What happens when you find yourself stuck in a rut for an extended period? You might will yourself to go through the necessary motions to get through each day, and you might put on a good show outwardly. Inwardly, however, you’re sinking lower and lower. As frustration and dissatisfaction takes over, it becomes increasingly difficult to get yourself unstuck and out of that depressed state of discouragement. The situation escalates further when apathy starts setting in, as it becomes even more difficult to find the energy, focus, and motivation to take the steps needed to turn things around. Eventually, dissatisfaction turns into desperation.
This is often the point at which fear crops up in an unexpected but useful way. You reach a place where you’re genuinely afraid things will continue to remain as they are with no improvement, and you realize how much you desperately want something different, even if you don’t know what that “something different” looks like or how to go about attaining it. Many people who have been through this will tell you this kind of fear served as a powerful wake-up call that couldn’t be ignored. When you’re struggling to break through the inertia that’s keeping you stuck, fear of this kind has the potential to cut through the fog, grab your attention, and shake you up, ultimately providing the initial motivation to do something — anything — to get yourself moving in the right direction.
Separating yourself from the sensations.
When fear overwhelms us, it clouds our thinking and distorts our perception, leading to skewed judgement and poor decisions. It drains our energy, destroys our inner peace, strips our confidence, and inhibits our ability to live life fully. At its worse, fear has the potential to shut us down and totally incapacitate us.
Whatever the nature of your fear, making a conscious effort to decipher its message enables you to assess the situation you’re in, separate from the emotions and sensations you’re experiencing. You’re not denying or suppressing all those emotions and sensations; you’re acknowledging them while also inserting space between them and yourself. With this space and separation, you’re better able to resist being overwhelmed and helplessly overtaken by the sensations you’re experiencing. At the same time, you’re positioning yourself to choose a response deliberately, thoughtfully, and purposefully. Instead of being overcome and controlled by the fear, you’re now better able to leverage it in a constructive way.
About the author: Susan Knight | SGP Featured Writer | Contact the author: @ http://skfreelance.com
Susan is a writer, certified health and wellness coach, and author of Living Well: Self-Discovery, Connection and Growth
