I want to give you the most intentional hug for your latest article Brian and say that I am glad you are writing your heart .
This piece has some very common human internal wrestling of what happens after someone close dies and your brain won’t stop doing the math. How old am I. How old were they. How fast did everything change. Who will remember me ? What will they remember ?
I think this is what loss does. It pulls death out of the future and drops it right beside you; I have been there!
What I’ve learned is that thinking about death doesn’t have to be the scary part. I have found a strange calm that came from deciding things instead of leaving them unanswered , who you’d want around you, what matters enough to say now, even small things like what would feel like you at the end, who do I want doing what, what does my exit from this earthly plane look like.
For me, paying attention to all that made it clearer. It made me slower with people. Less casual with love. More honest about what matters and what doesn’t.
But I can see that there’s another layer under this question that isn’t really about dying at all.
It’s that feeling that no one is watching, no one is measuring, no one really sees what you’re doing unless something goes wrong. Like your value only becomes visible in a crisis and again something really common after someone dies, because suddenly there’s all this attention, all this meaning assigned. Who you are and what you do matters and I’m sorry your heart is hurting right now. Grief is wild. Many people think it’s an external response attached specifically to the person who died but the internal wrestling it can cause is so real too. I just wanted to acknowledge that for you too.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I greatly appreciate your.
This was both extremely difficult and surprisingly easy to write. I usually am able to handle my emotions but there was this surge of emotion during the funeral. It didn’t affect me that day. But I was onerous the next day. I blew up and lost my cool. Grief is a weird thing.
Writing this helped me to process it and that’s why I shared it today.
Those emotions, those questions and those thoughts of being and then not being felt primordial.
I think you are handling your emotions just fine. :) no wrong way to do grief. Society tells us it must be contained, controlled and minimized but we know how detrimental that actually is. Yes sometimes there is a fine line between how that anger is expressed outwardly and needing a day after reset and alignment of how to channel it can be necessary but you are human. Today is a new day. Someone out there needs to read your article today and that quiet comfort that you will give them just from processing your own experience is such a gift for others . Keep being you!
I want to give you the most intentional hug for your latest article Brian and say that I am glad you are writing your heart .
This piece has some very common human internal wrestling of what happens after someone close dies and your brain won’t stop doing the math. How old am I. How old were they. How fast did everything change. Who will remember me ? What will they remember ?
I think this is what loss does. It pulls death out of the future and drops it right beside you; I have been there!
What I’ve learned is that thinking about death doesn’t have to be the scary part. I have found a strange calm that came from deciding things instead of leaving them unanswered , who you’d want around you, what matters enough to say now, even small things like what would feel like you at the end, who do I want doing what, what does my exit from this earthly plane look like.
For me, paying attention to all that made it clearer. It made me slower with people. Less casual with love. More honest about what matters and what doesn’t.
But I can see that there’s another layer under this question that isn’t really about dying at all.
It’s that feeling that no one is watching, no one is measuring, no one really sees what you’re doing unless something goes wrong. Like your value only becomes visible in a crisis and again something really common after someone dies, because suddenly there’s all this attention, all this meaning assigned. Who you are and what you do matters and I’m sorry your heart is hurting right now. Grief is wild. Many people think it’s an external response attached specifically to the person who died but the internal wrestling it can cause is so real too. I just wanted to acknowledge that for you too.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I greatly appreciate your.
This was both extremely difficult and surprisingly easy to write. I usually am able to handle my emotions but there was this surge of emotion during the funeral. It didn’t affect me that day. But I was onerous the next day. I blew up and lost my cool. Grief is a weird thing.
Writing this helped me to process it and that’s why I shared it today.
Those emotions, those questions and those thoughts of being and then not being felt primordial.
I think you are handling your emotions just fine. :) no wrong way to do grief. Society tells us it must be contained, controlled and minimized but we know how detrimental that actually is. Yes sometimes there is a fine line between how that anger is expressed outwardly and needing a day after reset and alignment of how to channel it can be necessary but you are human. Today is a new day. Someone out there needs to read your article today and that quiet comfort that you will give them just from processing your own experience is such a gift for others . Keep being you!