10 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

Written by Susan Knight for Sankarsingh-Gonsalves Productions.

1. Movies are not real life. 

Do not look to mass media or popular culture for guidance on who you should be, how you should live, and what you should value. Find real people in life who you admire, look at how they live their lives and the outcome, and use that as a guidepost. The roadmap you follow will determine where you get to.  

2. You’re going to mess up along the way. 

No matter how hard you try and how well you plan, you’ll make mistakes. That’s not an aberration; it’s a normal part of the human experience. But once you make a mistake, don’t repeat it; learn from it. Take responsibility for your actions and hold yourself accountable, but don’t punish yourself endlessly or live shackled by regret. Forgive yourself and move on.  

3. You can’t make someone love you. 

Trying to make someone love you is a fool’s errand and one of the worst things you can do. It will never work and you risk losing much in the process, including your dignity and self-respect. Don’t do it. 

4. Dream big. 

For many years, at the end of the American Top 40 music countdown each week, the host Casey Kasem would issue this reminder: “Keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars.” Sound advice. Just remember there are two components to it and they’re both equally important. 

5. Be honest with yourself. 

There will be times when you just don’t want to see something that’s staring you in the face. But ignoring something doesn’t make it go away; it often gets worse and it becomes harder to extricate yourself. Your inner moral compass will function best when used frequently, and it will guide you in discerning truth both internally and externally. Don’t let it get rusty. 

6. Respect yourself. 

Always, always, always respect yourself. Self-respect is an essential part of the foundation you need to have in place as you build. Without a solid foundation in place, whatever you build will be fragile and vulnerable.   

7. Accept that people are imperfect. 

There are some fabulously wonderful people in the world, but they aren’t perfect. People who love you and care about you may still hurt you. Accept that people are imperfect. However, don’t accept abuse. When it comes to willful or repeated harm that someone refuses to take responsibility for, exit. Don’t try to analyze, understand, fix, change, or rescue; just exit. Sooner rather than later. 

8. Question everything. 

Your concept of the world, reality, and even yourself, is shaped by the information you take in. Faulty information leads to faulty conclusions, which skews subsequent conclusions thereafter. Questioning will enable you to course-correct as needed. Don’t be afraid to revise core beliefs and assumptions. 

9. Pray. 

Maybe it’s the act of articulating the words that’s so powerful, be it words of praise and gratitude, or words of pain and despair. Maybe you’re influencing and shaping reality, as some would say. Maybe there really is a God who listens and responds. Whatever it is, prayer has an impact. So pray. 

10. Never lose hope. 

There will be times when it seems your world has been shattered. You may feel like you’re falling apart and the darkness is all-encompassing. Hold onto hope. Don’t rely on logic and don’t worry about what you can or cannot see, just hold onto hope. Your life doesn’t exist in a vacuum; there are forces at work beyond what you’re cognizant of. When you’re convinced you have no way out, hope will sustain you until you find a way out. And it’s the one thing no-one can take away from you. 

About the Author: Susan Knight | SGP Featured Writer | http://skfreelance.com - Susan is certified health and wellness coach, focusing on personal growth and inner wellness. She was a regular contributor to Social Work Today Magazine and is now a featured Health & Wellness Columnist for SGP.